Finding Clarity in Being Vague

It's shameful to witness how women would spend much just to have lighter and younger-looking skin and amusing how many people would indulge in buying condoms in different flavors and supplements to boost you already know what. Yes, work has finally taken its toll. I'm in the middle of being held captive or perhaps, a neophyte taking baby steps to exaltation but either way, I'm stuck in it. No escape for now. 

At some point in my life, thoughts of wanting to die came through me, once, twice, maybe even thrice. Life's unfair as we know it. Growing up, I don't know why I can get emotional and too depressed at the same time. Reason? Not even reasonable enough and hell no, am I going to allow myself to be ruled by my ruthless and gullible emotions but over contemplating on loneliness and worthlessness has been my disease. Reading this may surprise you because I may look pretty positive all the time and has this traditionally serious and calm exterior. Looking back, all those last year-dramas make me laugh reminding me how pathetic I was. I've learned so much from the past, from "my" past, and finally understood that the beauty of my imperfections would make a part of me, a part of who I am now. All grown up, wiser and stronger. 

I have dreams just like everyone else. Small and big dreams all leading me to where I want to be. But mine are mostly kept in secret maybe because I'm afraid that not everyone would understand why I dream for such things. 1/4 only goes to career pursuits and the 3/4 of it are just selfless dreams of mine. I curse myself for thinking that way cause half of my dream is dependent to one person, and whoever that is, he better be good. Be really, really, really good. You just don't know how dedication and love can run through my veins.

I couldn't contain the glee in confusion. Two have spoken tonight about such frail things and in the end, it's up to me to choose who I'd break and to whom I'd choose to be broken.

So vague. I know. Good night.

Hello Summer!!!

The scorching heat is getting into my nerves these days. Even being geared up with the perfect pair of sunnies and SPF when I'm outdoors still isn't enough. The unbelievably annoying and destructing summer heat has the power to turn me into an evil monster. So don't try talking to me cause all you'll ever get is cranky, cranky, Airi! Hahahaha! Holla, summer's here! It's my second favorite time of the year after Christmas season but now that I'm no longer a student who yearns for Summer. I don't know how to deal with it right now. Prolly because there will be no such thing as summer vacay again for me. Oh nooooooo~ x.x

Photos of last year because they basically refresh and cool my mood right now. I can't wait to dive into chlorinated water or hit the beaches soon. Aaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!

I miss my Bestie, Hannah! (the one with the colorful polka dots!) Hiyak kaayo si oka hahahaha!

And my sister, Monica! She'll always be our LITTLE MERMAID. :)

@ Tambuli Beach Club.

Because Old School is Still Cool

Twenty one years of existence and I haven't tried clubbing or partying til morning or that thing which they call night life or whatever they call that. At times, I feel hesitant when asked and ashamed for not having to experience such thing at this age and some people laugh with unbelief. Talk about mild ridicule. But please don't get me wrong, I'm not that goody good girl at all. I've been a wayward kid at some point of my life. Teehee! But all those drinking, and partying at night is just not my scene, and never will be my kind of scene. Just thankful because I know I'm not alone!!! Some people prefer a different thing to do and we ought to respect one another. Back to the golden rule, respect begets respect.

So today, I decided to write something about the kind of soirees I attend. Growing up in a Christian community, a bucket of activities are laid down for the youth to get involved and be busy with. And one of those activities is the formal party or social dancing. It's pretty much old school, actually. Hee. More of the one in prom scenarios where a guy asks a girl for a dance and they dance with slow music. Hahaha! The main purpose here is to socialize and get to know one another and possibly make it a breeding place for future love teams. But hey, there's also time to groove in with loud music in a group and celebrate with friends of common faith. There's absolutely no smoking and drinking of alcohol because that's against my religious belief. People also dress and behave appropriately. Music are uplifting and wholesome and the venue has proper lightning. And the party doesn't ends at around nine or ten-ish in the evening. Very decent, right? So, if being wild is your thing, sorry if this didn't catch your interest. It ain't boring and there are still people in our modern world who enjoy gatherings such as the one I described. :p

And last February, we had a Multi-Stake Valentines Ball. 'Twas a Post-valentines party and here are a few photos from the said event.

And some of em got awards! Hahaha look at my friend, Jude, far left, soooo cute Mr. Headturner! Lol :p

My siblings are with me. Awkward, constipated face by yours truly. Tralalala. xD

Got the photos from Karl Trias, this big kid beside me :) and yes, pink is the color!!!

My First Futile Fashion Entry

| Blazer, Skirt Forever 21 | Corset Dresstiny | Belt, Purse SM Dept. Store | Platforms Prima donna | Bracelet Accesorize | Watch Kenneth Cole | Earrings, Ring @ some local thrift shop that I couldn't remember xp |

The title says it all and trying something new can really be interesting. *winks* And to get things straight, definitely not your typical lookbook girl or rich kid fashion blogger here. Entiendo? ^o^ 

Growing up, insecurities also roll down my sleeve but it's just a matter of how to deal. At twenty-one, left with no choice but to embrace the midget in me. Being vertically challenged, it's always hard for me to pick clothes that would fit me perfectly like I still have to have my pair of jeans cut all the time because it's too long for me. With all means in the name of fashion and comfort, it can be tedious as it seem but you have to learn what works best for you.

Here's what I wore on our Honoring and Oath Taking Ceremony. Since I was able to guess that everyone's going to wear skimpy dresses, I chose to be wrapped up to be different, or secretly, to stand out. I never thought I'd be able to work with the long skirt. Reason stated above. Thus, I will forever profess my gratitude for the genius who created heels! It's my best cheating device. Not only to look taller, create good posture, but also boost a woman's confidence-o-meter. I chose the corset, a very timeless apparel, because it exudes class and sexiness. Trend now is that inner wears are used as outer wears. And to add some taste of formality (since I'm a proud professional now!), a blazer or career jacket is all you need. Make-up and accessories are kept clean and simple because that's how I roll.

Photos are all in a mess. (Look at that awful parking lot as background and me carrying the slr, haha so not ready!) We had an unplanned fun shoot, a byproduct of our boredom and vanity. Sorry, there are no detailed shots. Will do better next time if I'm moved to do another post like this. Convince me! Mehehe.

Fashion for me, is a way of expressing oneself. Need not to be trendy all the time. It's someone's personal book cover. It's one way of how you want to be read by the world. Better not judge someone with his/her style because each one's unique and has a story to tell. My own sense of style? Can't find the exact words to describe it, exclude me from such labels. It basically runs down on my mood. Just on the conservative side since I follow such standards of dressing based from my religious belief. The only times I reveal more flesh is when I'm at home or at the beach. Additional tips: Be yourself. Smile. And just the right dose of confidence works well all the time. To end this, fashion all goes down to one thing, it's your own style, your story, and the world has nothing to do with it. :)

The Breed of New Pharmacists

Additional three letters to complete my name, RPh (Registered Pharmacist). Fortunate enough to be one of those 576 board passers out of 1,109 who took the exam last January 15-16, 2012. Yay!

Who says it pure luck? It's hard work, baby! Shallow men believe in luck but, strong men believe in cause and effect. I do think everything one needs to know for the board exam is wrapped up in those four years in college. A big thanks to our USC - Department of Pharmacy for providing quality education and of course, personal efforts (ehem!) and prayers. So if you're a pharmacy student and has been reading my blog, I highly suggest that you start reading your books and pay more attention to your teacher. You'll learn its importance and realize that all the whining on school work as a student are going to be just jokes that you'd love to reminisce later on.

When the results were out the day after the exam, I was dumbfounded. Part of me was in sympathy for those who weren't able to make it yet, I couldn't contain the joy from within telling me that I've made it! Such fleeting happiness felt that I could hardly sleep because a big grin can't be wiped off my face and eyes just want to pop out of excitement! Plus, parents, relatives, and friends rejoice with you because of such achievement. Remembering those things still makes me feel all giddy. *u*

Last March 3, Honoring Ceremony at Patio Isabel with the new Dean, Dept. of Pharmacy faculty and staff and Father Miranda. Inspiring messages from such remarkable persons. Talk about school pride!

Forcefully I had to create a speech out of wit's end the morning that day. I was entirely speechless days before the event but it was an honor to be able to express my utmost and profound gratitude in behalf of my new licensed Carolinian pharmacists. The school and our dear teachers also deserve a warm congratulations for their success throughout the years of producing competent professionals. Remember what John Maxwell said? “True success comes only when every generation continues to develop the next generation.” 

Oath Taking Ceremony that night at the Diplomat Hotel with more new pharmacists who share the same victory from different schools with their ever loving and supportive parents who deserve a handshake of congratulations too!:) Hon. Jennifer Flores, from the Board of Pharmacy shared her words of wisdom that gave us some enlightenment of our profession and she added that our batch is "tahimik and disiplinado.. at maraming magaganda" I'd like to believe that there's a truth in that! Hahaha! That day was another milestone in our life. It was the start of the entity of our profession. And we will never forget and will unceasingly thank Him who has made everything possible for us.

Photos from Ate Lilibeth Jumao-as.

Coloring is Therapy

One Sunday afternoon, my sister, Monica was surprisingly altruistic to gather me and our younger siblings to paint with her using her pricey coloring materials. We took advantage of her kindness, but innocent Aj and Laura happened to leave heavy blots of paint on the paper and the paint abused. Hee! Before we started our painting session, we tried to think of what to paint and I guess living in a tropical country with all the greens around, it has always been conventional to draw or paint nature like the traditional picture of  a rice field with two mountains, a few trees, bushes, flowers with the bahay kubo. Not to forget the sun, and the clouds with birds that are shaped like the giant M of McDonalds. Hahaha! Can you picture that out?  :D So Laura and Aj decided to paint trees. Here are there cutie patootie masterpieces! Definitely not bad for beginners!

Aj's painting. Laura made a ridiculous comment that it's a parade of broccoli with pom-poms. What d'you think? *giggles*

 Laura's painting had the most comments. That's because everyone loves picking on her! Haha! We all agreed that it looked like a mushroom and Dad said it's a huge scoop of pistachio gelato. Monica wasn't able to finish a painting. Instead, she helped Laura blend colors and taught Aj how to use different kinds of brushes.

I told them I was sick of making trees and using the color green cause I've been doing that since childhood so I chose to paint something differently.  I didn't have any formal art class, it's all pure imagination and observation from Dad and others. I used to paint a lot in high school and I wish to hone those skills back so that I'd step up from my juvenile level. I've also been the traditional artist. Digital painting with photoshop still keeps me wondering. Good thing my siblings didn't have any comments with my work Clearly, it's a sign of approval. Yay!

This book is so helpful for amateurs. We got it from the Logos Hope Book Fair last month. Dad chose this for my brother, Ayan, who's a Landscape Architecture student. I was busy choosing cook books. I should have gotten myself a cook book for dummies instead. D:

Painting as a recreation is highly commendable. Try using watercolour. It's not that hard to use though. Talk about history, watercolour painting is extremely old. Coloring is also therapeutic. It's a way of venting your feelings and frustrations, and all other emotions. Remember those movies where children are given crayons, and adults try to guess their emotions, some of them create dark drawings and scare the hell out of adults haha but some create pictures of love and family, and that's cute! So if you had a busy morning and want to unwind and calm down, this is a good way to de-stress!!! ;)